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The Mirror Lecture: On Uncovering Your Best Self

In my book The Way In: 5 Winning Strategies to Lose Weight, Get Strong and Lift Your life, I ask people to think about what purpose the mirror serves in your life. When you look in the mirror, are you looking for what’s right or to check out what’s wrong?

Here’s an excerpt from the book:

For many of us, conversations with the mirror go something like this:

BAD DAY CONVERSATIONS: Seriously?! How did my ass get bigger over-night? It was only one piece of bread at dinner!!...OK, that’s it. I’m never eating out again...Except for when I don’t feel like cooking...which is multiple nights a week...OK screw it. I’m just going to get bigger pants.

GOOD DAY CONVERSATIONS: Ok, somehow my ass doesn’t look SO bad in these pants. Guess I’ll wear them, but I’ll definitely do the long sweater or shirt I can tie around my waist just in case.

RARE TO NEVER CONVERSATIONS: Hey, there good-looking! Look at you. You’re awesome. And you’re me! So, I guess that’s working out pretty well for us!

The trouble for many of us when we look in the mirror is, we don’t know who we’re looking for. It’s as if the person we see there is someone we don’t particularly like but have to put up with. It’s jarring to think of ourselves--and our bodies--as a nuisance that we can’t get rid of. It’s also incredibly de-motivating. What’s the use of trying to be our best selves if we always come back to “not good enough?” The ironic truth is that too much focus on your body often gets in the way of improving it.

Your weight loss journey affects your exterior, for sure. But the best results are not achieved by focusing on what other people see. Better Instagram selfies aren’t motivation enough to change your life in a deep and meaningful way. Instead, we are going to work on uncovering your best self which, believe me, is already there.

QUICK PICK ME-UP (but be careful - this can become a life game-changer)

Today, just for one day and AFTER you quick-fix whatever you deem to be “wrong” with yourself at the moment, try this simple exercise: leave every mirror-moment with some sort of affirmation about your CAPABILITY as a person. Look in your eyes and remind yourself of something you are good at - my apple pie rocks; I crushed that presentation yesterday; music is awesome and I can play piano, I’m a great listener and I never judge. Whatever it is, remind your best friend (YOU) of what she/he contributes to the world. Remind yourself of who you are based on what you DO and see if it doesn’t boost your confidence a notch or two.

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